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Time for a million posts! First, movie reviews.
Step Up
Totally unoriginal, cliched, by-the-numbers cross-cultural dance movie, although it focuses on Channing Tatum instead of the extremely bland girl, which is good in two ways:
1. Enough pretty to keep me at least moderately engaged for the hour-and-a-half I had to endure
2. A slight departure from the boring girlie coming-of-age dance movies.
That boy's definitely a talent, and a good dancer, although the kind of dance in the film wasn't really to my taste. The dances were also more or less pedestrian - Save the Last Dance covered the same ground a lot better, if from the girl's point of view. I knew every plot twist the minute I started watching, and there's too much distracting from the dance plot - possibly because the dance stuff is so blatantly contrived. Rachel Griffiths looks like she's sleepwalking (muttering 'I'm getting a paycheck, I'm getting a paycheck' the whole time) and the rest of the supporting cast is eminently forgettable.
4 out of 10
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Dear Luke Wilson, Uma Thurman and Eddie Izzard:
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
I've been looking through the cast and crew. Ivan Reitman, how was Ghostbusters funny while this sucked so much? Why am I not surprised that the only other film writing credit the writer has is the supposedly terrible Fantastic 4 sequel? This film is such a misfire on SO many levels. Luke Wilson has absolutely zero chemistry with both female leads, nobody seems to know whether they should be over or underacting, which means they end up doing a sort of botched job of both, and there's not a single joke that's funny. Or even makes sense. The concept isn't actually that bad, but the execution is bad in every single conceivable way. Even the music is bizarre. It doesn't make sense. It's like a short story a high school student wrote at 3 am the day before they have to hand something in for English class.
1 out of 10
The Golden Compass
I would like to preface this review by mentioning that, while I know some of you out there are diehard Pullman defenders, I really hate the His Dark Materials trilogy. Yes, I read all of them, although I was so lost and bored by the third one I cannot remember a single thing that happens. Hell, I could barely remember anything from the first one except for Iorek Byrnison, who I admit is kickass. I just find Pullman infuriatingly pretentious, kind of the way I feel about Orson Welles, so while I can see the talent in his writing I can't enjoy it, even if I kind of agree with the philosophical message. That said, even if I'd loved the books I'd probably have hated this movie. Much like Goblet of Fire, this film is a really messy adaptation. Film has its own internal logic, and to do a good adaptation you need to bring the book into that world, rather than try to film the world of the novel. Golden Compass jumps around more than a compass needle, flying from location to location with bad exposition dialogue thrown to random characters we never hear from again along the way. The little girl playing Lyra was fine but not particularly engaging, and the daemons weren't really sympathetic enough to work - it mostly just seems weird. The emotional scenes almost all lacked emotional punch, and the soundtrack is overblown and strangely placed (a scene change to the Magisterium's headquarters with a resounding beat from the soundtrack is cut weirdly short, which completely jarred me.) It looks good, but again too busy - there's too much going on to distract from the already confusing plot and leaps of logic. Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig aren't really given enough to do with their roles. Nicole Kidman probably could've ripped right into Mrs. Coulter given the chance - her golden monkey daemon is genuinely scary, but she comes off as mostly kind of confused.
I did really like, again, Iorek Byrnison and the Ice Bears, as well as the cowboy Lee Scoresby, who were the only characters I felt any affinity with. There is also an ASTOUNDING act of violence that had the whole audience reeling during the ice bear fight. That's okay in a PG movie, but heaven forbid you see a naked breast or hear a swear word. *eyeroll*
Uh, back to the review. I think it could have been alright if anyone knew what they were trying to do at ALL, but it's just a big mess.
4 out of 10
Enchanted
Now this is how you do a kids' movie! The postmodern, tongue-in-cheek but consistently entertaining Enchanted does for kids movies what Scream did for horror movies, I think - it brings it up to date and pokes fun at itself while adhering to the conventions it's poking fun at, thereby being both funny and enjoyable in its genre. Amy Adams is adorable and charming, carrying off a real-life cartoon performance perfectly (which is probably a lot harder than it looks) and I didn't hate Patrick Dempsey as her frustrated off-sider, which is good, but James Marsden steals the show with puffy sleeves and hilarious self-aware lines. Watching him interact with the real world undaunted is beyond hilarious (the moment when he shows up at the door of a frazzled housewife with four children, every inch the fantasy prince, to be told he's 'too late' and his face falls is pure magic.) I wish he wasn't doing 27 Dresses, because roles like this one and Corny in Hairspray make me think he could be SO much more than a boring romantic foil for Katie Heigl. Susan Sarandon's appearance is weirdly anticlimactic - it feels a bit like the whole movie's run its course before she gets there, and the end sequence tips over into corny too often for me. Still, everything that came before it is glorious - the song & dance number in Central Park is both uplifting and uproarious, and watching Amy Adams clean the house with the help of her new cockroach friends is repulsive but will have you in stitches. A really fun movie for the whole family - good jokes for adults, talking animals, princes and princesses (who share the damseling, like any good post-feminism film) for the little ones.
8 out of 10
Little Women (1949)
This was on TCM and I managed to catch it early on, tipping my tally for 2007 over to 101. Being the age I am, I have to admit to being a fan of the more recent Little Women (the one with Winona Ryder, Claire Danes, Christian Bale and Susan Sarandon), but I think I enjoyed both movies more or less equally. What really sold me on this version was June Allyson's Josephine March - Winona Ryder is a little bit too elfin and wimpy for the role, but June Allyson has a brightness but also a blunt quality that fits Jo a lot better. Jo's such a great character that she needs to be done well, and I prefer June Allyson in the role. The girl who plays Beth is also very strong, but Laurie lacks romance - I totally understood Jo going for the professor (the actor playing him aged really well, too. Good choice, Jo.) Liz Taylor was pretty damn perfect as Amy, to be honest, even though I rather like Samantha Mathis, and Janet Leigh is more than a match for the poor man's Andie MacDowell. The backlot shooting worked well for their contained world, but it's pretty dated now. Still, decent entertainment.
7 out of 10
Green Queen
Step Up
Totally unoriginal, cliched, by-the-numbers cross-cultural dance movie, although it focuses on Channing Tatum instead of the extremely bland girl, which is good in two ways:
1. Enough pretty to keep me at least moderately engaged for the hour-and-a-half I had to endure
2. A slight departure from the boring girlie coming-of-age dance movies.
That boy's definitely a talent, and a good dancer, although the kind of dance in the film wasn't really to my taste. The dances were also more or less pedestrian - Save the Last Dance covered the same ground a lot better, if from the girl's point of view. I knew every plot twist the minute I started watching, and there's too much distracting from the dance plot - possibly because the dance stuff is so blatantly contrived. Rachel Griffiths looks like she's sleepwalking (muttering 'I'm getting a paycheck, I'm getting a paycheck' the whole time) and the rest of the supporting cast is eminently forgettable.
4 out of 10
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Dear Luke Wilson, Uma Thurman and Eddie Izzard:
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
I've been looking through the cast and crew. Ivan Reitman, how was Ghostbusters funny while this sucked so much? Why am I not surprised that the only other film writing credit the writer has is the supposedly terrible Fantastic 4 sequel? This film is such a misfire on SO many levels. Luke Wilson has absolutely zero chemistry with both female leads, nobody seems to know whether they should be over or underacting, which means they end up doing a sort of botched job of both, and there's not a single joke that's funny. Or even makes sense. The concept isn't actually that bad, but the execution is bad in every single conceivable way. Even the music is bizarre. It doesn't make sense. It's like a short story a high school student wrote at 3 am the day before they have to hand something in for English class.
1 out of 10
The Golden Compass
I would like to preface this review by mentioning that, while I know some of you out there are diehard Pullman defenders, I really hate the His Dark Materials trilogy. Yes, I read all of them, although I was so lost and bored by the third one I cannot remember a single thing that happens. Hell, I could barely remember anything from the first one except for Iorek Byrnison, who I admit is kickass. I just find Pullman infuriatingly pretentious, kind of the way I feel about Orson Welles, so while I can see the talent in his writing I can't enjoy it, even if I kind of agree with the philosophical message. That said, even if I'd loved the books I'd probably have hated this movie. Much like Goblet of Fire, this film is a really messy adaptation. Film has its own internal logic, and to do a good adaptation you need to bring the book into that world, rather than try to film the world of the novel. Golden Compass jumps around more than a compass needle, flying from location to location with bad exposition dialogue thrown to random characters we never hear from again along the way. The little girl playing Lyra was fine but not particularly engaging, and the daemons weren't really sympathetic enough to work - it mostly just seems weird. The emotional scenes almost all lacked emotional punch, and the soundtrack is overblown and strangely placed (a scene change to the Magisterium's headquarters with a resounding beat from the soundtrack is cut weirdly short, which completely jarred me.) It looks good, but again too busy - there's too much going on to distract from the already confusing plot and leaps of logic. Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig aren't really given enough to do with their roles. Nicole Kidman probably could've ripped right into Mrs. Coulter given the chance - her golden monkey daemon is genuinely scary, but she comes off as mostly kind of confused.
I did really like, again, Iorek Byrnison and the Ice Bears, as well as the cowboy Lee Scoresby, who were the only characters I felt any affinity with. There is also an ASTOUNDING act of violence that had the whole audience reeling during the ice bear fight. That's okay in a PG movie, but heaven forbid you see a naked breast or hear a swear word. *eyeroll*
Uh, back to the review. I think it could have been alright if anyone knew what they were trying to do at ALL, but it's just a big mess.
4 out of 10
Enchanted
Now this is how you do a kids' movie! The postmodern, tongue-in-cheek but consistently entertaining Enchanted does for kids movies what Scream did for horror movies, I think - it brings it up to date and pokes fun at itself while adhering to the conventions it's poking fun at, thereby being both funny and enjoyable in its genre. Amy Adams is adorable and charming, carrying off a real-life cartoon performance perfectly (which is probably a lot harder than it looks) and I didn't hate Patrick Dempsey as her frustrated off-sider, which is good, but James Marsden steals the show with puffy sleeves and hilarious self-aware lines. Watching him interact with the real world undaunted is beyond hilarious (the moment when he shows up at the door of a frazzled housewife with four children, every inch the fantasy prince, to be told he's 'too late' and his face falls is pure magic.) I wish he wasn't doing 27 Dresses, because roles like this one and Corny in Hairspray make me think he could be SO much more than a boring romantic foil for Katie Heigl. Susan Sarandon's appearance is weirdly anticlimactic - it feels a bit like the whole movie's run its course before she gets there, and the end sequence tips over into corny too often for me. Still, everything that came before it is glorious - the song & dance number in Central Park is both uplifting and uproarious, and watching Amy Adams clean the house with the help of her new cockroach friends is repulsive but will have you in stitches. A really fun movie for the whole family - good jokes for adults, talking animals, princes and princesses (who share the damseling, like any good post-feminism film) for the little ones.
8 out of 10
Little Women (1949)
This was on TCM and I managed to catch it early on, tipping my tally for 2007 over to 101. Being the age I am, I have to admit to being a fan of the more recent Little Women (the one with Winona Ryder, Claire Danes, Christian Bale and Susan Sarandon), but I think I enjoyed both movies more or less equally. What really sold me on this version was June Allyson's Josephine March - Winona Ryder is a little bit too elfin and wimpy for the role, but June Allyson has a brightness but also a blunt quality that fits Jo a lot better. Jo's such a great character that she needs to be done well, and I prefer June Allyson in the role. The girl who plays Beth is also very strong, but Laurie lacks romance - I totally understood Jo going for the professor (the actor playing him aged really well, too. Good choice, Jo.) Liz Taylor was pretty damn perfect as Amy, to be honest, even though I rather like Samantha Mathis, and Janet Leigh is more than a match for the poor man's Andie MacDowell. The backlot shooting worked well for their contained world, but it's pretty dated now. Still, decent entertainment.
7 out of 10
Green Queen
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