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I want to go to bed but I'm already really behind on these and I'm seeing Scott Pilgrim tomorrow night, so: movie reviews.
29/the lost 30/31 July
Death at a Funeral (US)
A classic case of should've left well enough alone. This movie is basically a scene for scene re-enactment of the original starring people who seem determined to suck it completely dry of comedy. Obviously there are certain beats that are fundamentally funny, but then they repeat bad and offensive jokes to the point of completely ruining the movie. I know he's popular, but I do not understand the appeal of Tracey Jordan, and basically Martin Laurence is, at this point, a waste of space. Peter Dinklage, bizarrely playing exactly the same role as he did in the original, is still good, and James Marsden does amuse is in the Alan Tudyk role (of course, it's also JAMES MARSDEN NAKED ON A ROOF, so of course I approve). Zoe Saldana does fine, but she's not really playing a funny role - she's James Marsden's fiancee, so I spent a lot of time entertaining myself with thoughts of how pretty their babies would be. Otherwise, I have nothing to recommend this movie unless, in some horrible freak accident, every single copy of the original is destroyed. Even then, just watch it to remember how good the original was, because that film is hilarious and this one is awful.
Naked James Marsden and Zoe Saldana get half a star each.
2 out of 5
The Blind Side
I liked this movie more than I thought I would, but I still don't think it was an excellent film. Sandra Bullock's was an excellent performance, and Quinton Aaron did a very good job as well, but it's basically a TV movie with a message and a bigger budget. It almost becomes interesting when it's implied that Michael Oher was manipulated, but of course it turns sugary sweet again five minutes later. It just doesn't have any bite - the kid's a saint, the family are all saints, nobody ever annoys each other or scares each other or anything, everything's wonderful, the end.
3.5 out of 5
10 August 2010
Newsies
The fact that I'd never seen this before is frankly astonishing as it was practically made to stroll up my alley. Adorable cuddly boys who sing and dance? Then again, 'sing' might be pushing the boundaries of what you can define these boys as doing. Shouting to a vague tune is more like it. The dancing is much, much better than the singing (that is to say, the dancing is brilliant and well-staged), and the plotting is pretty pedestrian. Christian Bale doesn't have much of a singing voice, but he is a total livewire in this. He buzzes with nervy energy all the way through, lending edge and grit to a fairly straight-forward Disney character. His talent shines over everyone else's. The film seems to be trying to walk a fine line between actually presenting the danger these boys were in and not showing too much violence, which is incredibly distracting. I don't know what this trope is called, but it's also pretty much a love story between Bale's character and the kid with the conscience (David, having looked him up on IMDb) - Bale even goes so far as to settle for the sister, clearly a poor substitute for the real thing. When, in the end of the movie, he stupidly chooses to stay in his terrible job in New York instead of chasing his dream in Santa Fe, he cites "I have family here" as the reason and looks straight at David, only noticing the girl when she comes running at him. Yeah, straight my ass.
Also, HEY VINNIE! And that little kid grew up hot.
Was not at all surprised to discover that Kenny Ortega directed this.
3 out of 5
Green Queen
29/the lost 30/31 July
Death at a Funeral (US)
A classic case of should've left well enough alone. This movie is basically a scene for scene re-enactment of the original starring people who seem determined to suck it completely dry of comedy. Obviously there are certain beats that are fundamentally funny, but then they repeat bad and offensive jokes to the point of completely ruining the movie. I know he's popular, but I do not understand the appeal of Tracey Jordan, and basically Martin Laurence is, at this point, a waste of space. Peter Dinklage, bizarrely playing exactly the same role as he did in the original, is still good, and James Marsden does amuse is in the Alan Tudyk role (of course, it's also JAMES MARSDEN NAKED ON A ROOF, so of course I approve). Zoe Saldana does fine, but she's not really playing a funny role - she's James Marsden's fiancee, so I spent a lot of time entertaining myself with thoughts of how pretty their babies would be. Otherwise, I have nothing to recommend this movie unless, in some horrible freak accident, every single copy of the original is destroyed. Even then, just watch it to remember how good the original was, because that film is hilarious and this one is awful.
Naked James Marsden and Zoe Saldana get half a star each.
2 out of 5
The Blind Side
I liked this movie more than I thought I would, but I still don't think it was an excellent film. Sandra Bullock's was an excellent performance, and Quinton Aaron did a very good job as well, but it's basically a TV movie with a message and a bigger budget. It almost becomes interesting when it's implied that Michael Oher was manipulated, but of course it turns sugary sweet again five minutes later. It just doesn't have any bite - the kid's a saint, the family are all saints, nobody ever annoys each other or scares each other or anything, everything's wonderful, the end.
3.5 out of 5
10 August 2010
Newsies
The fact that I'd never seen this before is frankly astonishing as it was practically made to stroll up my alley. Adorable cuddly boys who sing and dance? Then again, 'sing' might be pushing the boundaries of what you can define these boys as doing. Shouting to a vague tune is more like it. The dancing is much, much better than the singing (that is to say, the dancing is brilliant and well-staged), and the plotting is pretty pedestrian. Christian Bale doesn't have much of a singing voice, but he is a total livewire in this. He buzzes with nervy energy all the way through, lending edge and grit to a fairly straight-forward Disney character. His talent shines over everyone else's. The film seems to be trying to walk a fine line between actually presenting the danger these boys were in and not showing too much violence, which is incredibly distracting. I don't know what this trope is called, but it's also pretty much a love story between Bale's character and the kid with the conscience (David, having looked him up on IMDb) - Bale even goes so far as to settle for the sister, clearly a poor substitute for the real thing. When, in the end of the movie, he stupidly chooses to stay in his terrible job in New York instead of chasing his dream in Santa Fe, he cites "I have family here" as the reason and looks straight at David, only noticing the girl when she comes running at him. Yeah, straight my ass.
Also, HEY VINNIE! And that little kid grew up hot.
Was not at all surprised to discover that Kenny Ortega directed this.
3 out of 5
Green Queen
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