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I'm way behind on movie reviews.
4 September 2010
Hot Tub Time Machine
There are so many reasons why I wanted to like this movie. It's set in the 80s! It stars John Cusack! It's about time travel, one of my most beloved plot devices! Unfortunately, it was stupid. Immature, puerile crap packed with gay jokes and toilet humour capped by Rob Corddry in a role so intentionally unlikeable that I actually wanted him to die most of the time. I think I laughed 3 or 4 times in the whole thing. I'm giving John Cusack extra points for playing a role he used to play in the 80s again, because that's awesome, and the kid was less horrible than everyone else...but it still sucked.
What has Crispin Glover been drinking? He looked about 20 in this movie. Also, the kid they got to play young John Cusack is a DEAD RINGER. Seriously, it's downright creepy.
2 out of 5
Brothers
Blame it on the wine, but seriously, I so didn't care what was happening when Jake Gyllenhaal wasn't on screen until about the last 15 minutes...and then it just ended. This movie was slow, and for a movie that depicts the horrors of war, strangely lacking in passion or compassion. Also, the whole film is predicated around a relationship that never actually goes anywhere - Jake Gyllenhaal kisses Natalie Portman ONCE, and it's more out of shared sadness than anything. Which makes Tobey Maguire even less sympathetic than he already was. Jake Gyllenhaal is dangerously sexy, but the usually luminous Natalie Portman is seriously underplayed. I did think the tension between her children was wonderfully played (finally, a screenwriter who actually know what REAL children are like!) and those young actors portray their complex relationships with the adults very well. I feel like the movie would be a lot better if the first 90 minutes took 15 minutes and then they expanded the last 15 minutes into the rest of the movie.
2.5 out of 5
5 September 2010
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
I've seen a lot of praise for this movie, and while I found it enjoyable, it suffered from one of the main problems I have with these kinds of 3D animated movies that aren't made by Pixar. One of the things that makes Pixar movies so wonderful is their simplicity. Their stories are high-concept, but they have once central concept that you can sum up fairly easily. Their images are striking and simple - there's never so much going on on the screen that you don't know what to look at. It gives them their beauty, because they are focused and clear. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is really fun, the message about individualism is sweet, and the characters are quirky fun for the most part (especially Mr. T). There's just too much going on, and the focus is split. Also, yes, I know that these actors are the big thing in comedy right now, but that doesn't make them awesome voice actors.
3.5 out of 5
8 September 2010
Red Dawn
I mean, come on, you know I had to watch this at some point. It's an 80's action movie featuring both stars of Dirty Dancing, two stars of The Outsiders, one star of Back to the Future and the icky Sheen brother. It was practically calling to me. It's a shame that it's such a stupid piece of right-wing propaganda. The funny thing is, it has more in common with Tomorrow When the War Began than just the premise (teenagers go into guerilla warfare after their country is invaded). You can tell these kids are really committing to the material, they're just...not terribly good at it. There's a token member of the group who is an ethnic member of the invading party. Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze have fantastic chemistry in their few scenes together, and the warfare is pretty meaty and real. It's just so conservative. I think one of the Ellie series is that it has a female protagonist. It makes a huge difference - particularly when you compare her with Red Dawn's protagonists, the sexist, redneck Eckert brothers, for whom it is often difficult to have a lot of sympathy. The strongest performance comes from Lea Thompson as a girl damaged by an implied rape. A plotline concerning one of the central baddies is just confusing, though, and Harry Dean Stanton's cameo is seriously laughable.
2.5 out of 5
15 September 2010
The Colour of Magic
I've been going though a bit of a Pratchett phase lately, so I decided to watch this partly because of that fact and partly because of Sean Astin. Sean Astin didn't disappoint, but somehow this movie just didn't feel Pratchetty enough. It needed to be dirtier and messier, particularly in Ankh-Morpork, which was completely unconvincing. It was a pretty charming adaptation, though - lots of great Pratchett jokes, some lovely Death bits, and the actualy Discworld was beautifully rendered. Sean Astin was adorable, he was perfect for the part of Twoflower as he marvelled over everything, and I do love Tim Curry playing evil bastards. I tend to prefer Discworld stories as told from the point of view of Sam Vimes. He grounds the stories, which can float too far into the mad and wild world of Terry Pratchett's imagination, with his solid dislike of magic. I hope they adapt a Vimes-centric story some day (Night Watch is my favourite).
3 out of 5
Young Guns
See Red Dawn re: my compulsion to watch this movie. Not only that, but it's an 80s Western. Fortunately, it was more watchable than Red Dawn as well, mostly because of an electric central performance from Emilio Estevez as Billy the Kid. (By the way, casting Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez as anything other than brothers is deeply stupid. It's SO obvious that you just feel like laughing when they 'meet'.) Kiefer Sutherland is reliable as a romantic cowboy, but Terence Stamp's role as the single guy who takes in all these hot young boys to protect his farm is highly questionable (to the point that it's actually remarked upon in the movie.) Mostly, though, this is Estevez's movie. Hints are dropped about Billy's past that are never picked up, lending him a credible mystery, and his unquenchable thirst for violence and wild laugh are tempered by a real sense of charisma. You know why the other guns follow him, even when they KNOW they shouldn't. He has a sense of vengeance that is unshakable. Probably Estevez's best role ever.
Fact I just discovered: Mighty Ducks was made only 4 years after Young Guns.
3 out of 5
16 September 2010
Rope
You've got to love a bit of Hitchcock. Well, I do, anyway, and this is some good Hitch. Taking place entirely within one room and with very few cuts, what could be just a filmed play comes to life in Hitch's (and the incomparable James Stewart's) hands. After two only-just-former college students strangle a former classmate in search of the art of a perfect murder, they hide his body in a chest...and throw a party. The conversations at the party skirt the crime, keeping the tension high, while also entertaining in their own right. James Stewart, as the former professor who catches on, is outstanding, and John Dall as Brandon is the perfect sociopath. I love the film's exploration of the effect of murder on even the most cold-hearted planners. The climax is brilliantly done. The only problem is that in the moments when the film loses momentum - it starts to feel like an exercise instead of a movie.
4 out of 5
By the way, guys, if you go into "combined details" on IMDb you get something more like the old IMDb layout (ie. better). Major quibble, though: why separate "Actor, TV" from "Actor"?! That reeks of superiority.
Green Queen
4 September 2010
Hot Tub Time Machine
There are so many reasons why I wanted to like this movie. It's set in the 80s! It stars John Cusack! It's about time travel, one of my most beloved plot devices! Unfortunately, it was stupid. Immature, puerile crap packed with gay jokes and toilet humour capped by Rob Corddry in a role so intentionally unlikeable that I actually wanted him to die most of the time. I think I laughed 3 or 4 times in the whole thing. I'm giving John Cusack extra points for playing a role he used to play in the 80s again, because that's awesome, and the kid was less horrible than everyone else...but it still sucked.
What has Crispin Glover been drinking? He looked about 20 in this movie. Also, the kid they got to play young John Cusack is a DEAD RINGER. Seriously, it's downright creepy.
2 out of 5
Brothers
Blame it on the wine, but seriously, I so didn't care what was happening when Jake Gyllenhaal wasn't on screen until about the last 15 minutes...and then it just ended. This movie was slow, and for a movie that depicts the horrors of war, strangely lacking in passion or compassion. Also, the whole film is predicated around a relationship that never actually goes anywhere - Jake Gyllenhaal kisses Natalie Portman ONCE, and it's more out of shared sadness than anything. Which makes Tobey Maguire even less sympathetic than he already was. Jake Gyllenhaal is dangerously sexy, but the usually luminous Natalie Portman is seriously underplayed. I did think the tension between her children was wonderfully played (finally, a screenwriter who actually know what REAL children are like!) and those young actors portray their complex relationships with the adults very well. I feel like the movie would be a lot better if the first 90 minutes took 15 minutes and then they expanded the last 15 minutes into the rest of the movie.
2.5 out of 5
5 September 2010
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
I've seen a lot of praise for this movie, and while I found it enjoyable, it suffered from one of the main problems I have with these kinds of 3D animated movies that aren't made by Pixar. One of the things that makes Pixar movies so wonderful is their simplicity. Their stories are high-concept, but they have once central concept that you can sum up fairly easily. Their images are striking and simple - there's never so much going on on the screen that you don't know what to look at. It gives them their beauty, because they are focused and clear. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is really fun, the message about individualism is sweet, and the characters are quirky fun for the most part (especially Mr. T). There's just too much going on, and the focus is split. Also, yes, I know that these actors are the big thing in comedy right now, but that doesn't make them awesome voice actors.
3.5 out of 5
8 September 2010
Red Dawn
I mean, come on, you know I had to watch this at some point. It's an 80's action movie featuring both stars of Dirty Dancing, two stars of The Outsiders, one star of Back to the Future and the icky Sheen brother. It was practically calling to me. It's a shame that it's such a stupid piece of right-wing propaganda. The funny thing is, it has more in common with Tomorrow When the War Began than just the premise (teenagers go into guerilla warfare after their country is invaded). You can tell these kids are really committing to the material, they're just...not terribly good at it. There's a token member of the group who is an ethnic member of the invading party. Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze have fantastic chemistry in their few scenes together, and the warfare is pretty meaty and real. It's just so conservative. I think one of the Ellie series is that it has a female protagonist. It makes a huge difference - particularly when you compare her with Red Dawn's protagonists, the sexist, redneck Eckert brothers, for whom it is often difficult to have a lot of sympathy. The strongest performance comes from Lea Thompson as a girl damaged by an implied rape. A plotline concerning one of the central baddies is just confusing, though, and Harry Dean Stanton's cameo is seriously laughable.
2.5 out of 5
15 September 2010
The Colour of Magic
I've been going though a bit of a Pratchett phase lately, so I decided to watch this partly because of that fact and partly because of Sean Astin. Sean Astin didn't disappoint, but somehow this movie just didn't feel Pratchetty enough. It needed to be dirtier and messier, particularly in Ankh-Morpork, which was completely unconvincing. It was a pretty charming adaptation, though - lots of great Pratchett jokes, some lovely Death bits, and the actualy Discworld was beautifully rendered. Sean Astin was adorable, he was perfect for the part of Twoflower as he marvelled over everything, and I do love Tim Curry playing evil bastards. I tend to prefer Discworld stories as told from the point of view of Sam Vimes. He grounds the stories, which can float too far into the mad and wild world of Terry Pratchett's imagination, with his solid dislike of magic. I hope they adapt a Vimes-centric story some day (Night Watch is my favourite).
3 out of 5
Young Guns
See Red Dawn re: my compulsion to watch this movie. Not only that, but it's an 80s Western. Fortunately, it was more watchable than Red Dawn as well, mostly because of an electric central performance from Emilio Estevez as Billy the Kid. (By the way, casting Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez as anything other than brothers is deeply stupid. It's SO obvious that you just feel like laughing when they 'meet'.) Kiefer Sutherland is reliable as a romantic cowboy, but Terence Stamp's role as the single guy who takes in all these hot young boys to protect his farm is highly questionable (to the point that it's actually remarked upon in the movie.) Mostly, though, this is Estevez's movie. Hints are dropped about Billy's past that are never picked up, lending him a credible mystery, and his unquenchable thirst for violence and wild laugh are tempered by a real sense of charisma. You know why the other guns follow him, even when they KNOW they shouldn't. He has a sense of vengeance that is unshakable. Probably Estevez's best role ever.
Fact I just discovered: Mighty Ducks was made only 4 years after Young Guns.
3 out of 5
16 September 2010
Rope
You've got to love a bit of Hitchcock. Well, I do, anyway, and this is some good Hitch. Taking place entirely within one room and with very few cuts, what could be just a filmed play comes to life in Hitch's (and the incomparable James Stewart's) hands. After two only-just-former college students strangle a former classmate in search of the art of a perfect murder, they hide his body in a chest...and throw a party. The conversations at the party skirt the crime, keeping the tension high, while also entertaining in their own right. James Stewart, as the former professor who catches on, is outstanding, and John Dall as Brandon is the perfect sociopath. I love the film's exploration of the effect of murder on even the most cold-hearted planners. The climax is brilliantly done. The only problem is that in the moments when the film loses momentum - it starts to feel like an exercise instead of a movie.
4 out of 5
By the way, guys, if you go into "combined details" on IMDb you get something more like the old IMDb layout (ie. better). Major quibble, though: why separate "Actor, TV" from "Actor"?! That reeks of superiority.
Green Queen
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I must rewatch but the DVDs I find never have subtitles on, rubbish.
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I know most people love it, which leaves me baffled.
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:P
I personally couldn't last more than about 25minutes into Red Dawn.
I believe that they're remaking it. Interesting to see how the modern take on it stands up against Tomorrow.
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The Vimes books are my favorite to, I think they've got more insight and relevance in them than the others. That and I just find them funnier. Three guesses for my favorite character, if you need the other two I'd be kindof worried.