(no subject)

[green_queen]

I am slowly going insane.

ETA: not the happy fun fangirl kind of insane, the losing all semblance of a grip on reality insane.

Green Queen

Comments

[oftheunderworld.livejournal.com]

aren't we all?

[swear-jar.livejournal.com]

Better than quickly going insane...?

There, there.

[speakerwiggin.livejournal.com]

meet me when you get there.

[surreality-fan.livejournal.com]

going?

and here i thought that we were there already.

seriously though whatever is going on i wish i could make you feel better.

[lexslave.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry... you know we love you tho, right?? {(({({({HUG})}))})})}

You have no idea who i am....

[jezzabe.livejournal.com]

...but i really do hope you feel better soon, and find some way to let everything out or figure out what is going on.

*hugs*

♥

[nentari.livejournal.com]

We all feel like this sometimes. I wish I could help you feel a bit brighter, though :(
*hugs*

[dwlikeebeinlost.livejournal.com]

:::takes a firm grip on reality for you:::

danke
dw-- tryin' honest, I'm TRYIn' to helP!

[skint.livejournal.com]

*hugs* hope you feel better soon luv.

[truffle-shuffle.livejournal.com]

Anything I can do to help? I'm a good listener, if you want to vent over email. Hope you feel better soon, sweetie. *hug*

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

I'm being self-destructive. And I know it but I can't stop it. Every time the opportunity comes up I let it slip by and now I've fucked it all up.

[truffle-shuffle.livejournal.com]

Are you talking about with school? Or is it something else? I've been self-destructive before...a lot. It sucks when you know you're doing it but feel powerless to control yourself. You have to be proactive in making it stop. If it's school related, there's always something you can do to fix it, or restart (that's one of the great things about college). If it's life-related, then...it could be trickier.

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

It's uni. I've already dropped French once and then I wasn't as fucked up as I am now. This is really bad.

[truffle-shuffle.livejournal.com]

Well, what's going on that you feel you're fucked up? What made you start to slack in your studies and have to drop French? Are you feeling overwhelmed with the whole school thing? Because I know I did, and many of my friends did as well. My friend Michelle ended up taking a year off and then going back and finishing. It really helped her to be able to focus once she was back because she wanted it more, and wasn't feeling the pressure anymore. I, on the other hand, wish I'd been able to finish school, but life took over and I never did.

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

It's not the pressure of uni. Here's the thing: I really, REALLY love film. A lot. But I hate all the other uni crap I have to do to go with it. And I've got a lot of pressure from my parents because I'm confident and I've always done well and I'm smart.

At least I'm not a drug addict, I suppose.

[truffle-shuffle.livejournal.com]

Well, what do you have to take in order to major in film? Is French required? Are there other things you can take in order to graduate, that you'll enjoy more, and that will make the experience more overall enjoyable for you?

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

I think I need a minor or a second major or something. And I haven't done enough in any other course. I'd have to start over a little, or maybe go back to something else I've done before.

See I never really found out this stuff.

[truffle-shuffle.livejournal.com]

That stuff is not that difficult to find out and switch to. My friend Michelle that I mentioned before, decided halfway through her degree that she was switching from Journalism to Psychology, did a year of Psych, and then took a year off. When she went back, she finished her Journalism major with no problem. You should look into it. It may not be as much extra work as you may be thinking.

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

Maybe. The thing is I've done a lot of...jumping around already. I don't know how many more heart failures my parents can take.

[truffle-shuffle.livejournal.com]

In the long run, they'll just be happy to see you graduate. And to see you happy. Even when parents fight their kids on things, and don't understand why their children do the things that they do and make the decisions that they make, at the end of the day, all they really want is for their child to be happy. It's just hard for them in the meantime.

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

That's what Tom's telling me too. It's not fighting with them I'm concerned about, it's letting them down.

Cute Spike icon!

[truffle-shuffle.livejournal.com]

I think kids worry more about letting their parents down than about letting themselves down. You need to do what makes you happy first, and worry about what makes them happy later. It is your life, and if you spend it trying to please others always before yourself, one day you'll wake up and realize that you've never done anything to make yourself happy and your life will feel wasted. I know that sounds selfish, but it really isn't. Like I said, your parents ultimately just want you to be happy. So, do what you want, and be happy! You deserve that.


The Spike icon, and the one I'm using for this comment, are from this post:

http://www.livejournal.com/community/summer_of_spike/149337.html

[seren-mahtori.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with that comment. Your parents may not understand right now, but they will when you're sane and happy. You matter most right now. You aren't getting your parent's education...you're getting your own. It's your future. Do what you need to do to get what you want. Sometimes we hurt our parents...and sometimes they hurt us, but we get over it. We still love each other at the end of the day.

*hug*

[melissajane14.livejournal.com]

Have you thought about going to film school (like AFTRS in Sydney or the VCA in Melbourne - they rock) instead of doing an arts degree. It would be a challenge to leave home and all, but you would be doing what you love.
Anyway if you want to hang out and watch Lost on Thursday night we should get together.

[green-queen.livejournal.com]

I've thought about it. We'll see.

Sounds good to me, you wanna watch it at my place?