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George McIntyre placed the antique Smith and Wesson in his mouth and pulled the trigger. His last thought was: I bet this does't work. But he was wrong.
The bullet passed through the back of his head, killing him instantly, before it sailed through his rubber plant and ended its brief but eventful journey in the wall of his office.
The rubber plant was surprised. If the rubber plant could have spoken, it wouldn't have said anything. That's how surprised the rubber plant was. Over the last few weeks it had witnessed the gradual deterioration of McIntyre's mental health, but if the rubber plant had had a name it would have said: 'George McIntyre is not the kind of guy to commit suicide, or my name's not...' - whatever its name would have been, had it had one.
Three medical orderlies arrived, followed by two doctors, the Captain, the Morale Officer, and the ship's Head of Security. They put McIntyre's body on a stretcher and took him away.
Eight people in all passed through McIntyre's room, and not one of them, the rubber plant reflected rather bitterly, had expressed the slightest interest in the gaping bullet hole which went straight through the middle of his favourite leaf. His biggest and greenest leaf. The only leaf he was truly one hundred per cent happy with.
The humans muttered darkly about why McIntyre would have done such a thing. The rubber plant knew, but it wouldn't have told them, even if it could have.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is dark British humour at its best.
Green Queen
The bullet passed through the back of his head, killing him instantly, before it sailed through his rubber plant and ended its brief but eventful journey in the wall of his office.
The rubber plant was surprised. If the rubber plant could have spoken, it wouldn't have said anything. That's how surprised the rubber plant was. Over the last few weeks it had witnessed the gradual deterioration of McIntyre's mental health, but if the rubber plant had had a name it would have said: 'George McIntyre is not the kind of guy to commit suicide, or my name's not...' - whatever its name would have been, had it had one.
Three medical orderlies arrived, followed by two doctors, the Captain, the Morale Officer, and the ship's Head of Security. They put McIntyre's body on a stretcher and took him away.
Eight people in all passed through McIntyre's room, and not one of them, the rubber plant reflected rather bitterly, had expressed the slightest interest in the gaping bullet hole which went straight through the middle of his favourite leaf. His biggest and greenest leaf. The only leaf he was truly one hundred per cent happy with.
The humans muttered darkly about why McIntyre would have done such a thing. The rubber plant knew, but it wouldn't have told them, even if it could have.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is dark British humour at its best.
Green Queen
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It's also a kinda funny tie in to the show - I don't think they ever specified how George died in the first episode.
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xx
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